Goodbye- such a strong word. Goodbye can mean a few different things. It could mean, “I’ll see you later today” or “ See you tomorrow.” In this case, I’m talking about the kind of goodbye where it’s an “i’ll see you later, much, much later.” We’ve all grown up around goodbye but I think the older we get, the more we develop, goodbyes become harder.
My first stint with goodbye came when I had to say goodbye to my childhood friend, Polotimi. Now, I have no idea where she is today, or what she is even doing but let me tell you this, my four year old self was devastated. Even then, I already didn’t like goodbyes.
Fast forward a few years, or about six and I’m leaving California to move to Texas. Now, most who know me now, know I love Texas. This was not the case 11 years ago. In California, I met a friend in kindergarden who became a sister to me. We were inseparable all the time. Our parents joked that “we were trouble.” I still remember saying goodbye to her like it was yesterday. Sitting at the pool, it was our last day in Cali and I cried and cried. I think I may have cried halfway to Texas. Oh, I’m sure my parents really loved me that day.
Jump to middle school- the time when I was 13 and I was right about everything. No questions asked. As I sat in my 8th grade math teachers classroom, she read us “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” and she was crying. We all were so happy to finally be ready to go to high school. It wasn’t until later on did I realize the meaning of that book.
Four years later, I land signing one of the most important pieces of paper in my life. I signed my life away to Rider University to play soccer. At that moment I realized my comfortable life in Texas would take a big shake when I moved across country to New Jersey. I couldn’t have been more excited, my parents on the other hand were terrified. Saying goodbye and graduating were sad for me but also so exciting and I knew that I would stay in touch with my friends from high school and for the majority, I did. I've found with goodbye sometimes comes the exciting feelings for new adventures. Saying goodbye to my family was more horrible for them. They cried a lot. (You know how moms can get) I did get a bit sad but I was also excited about this journey. It wasn’t until about halfway to NJ did I realize that I wasn’t coming back for a while, and that’s when that goodbye had set in.
Now, I think this is where the story gets a little more interesting. This is where I started to grow and realize that my own actions and choices affect where I end up. I stayed at Rider two years. Two years growing friendships, two years having fun, two unforgettable years, but it just wasn’t in my books for staying there. This is when goodbye got hard. They say you don’t realize that you are leaving until the aftershock but I realized on my way to the airport that day. With my dorm packed, most of my goodbyes said, I just broke down. I think I cried the whole plane flight home. The good news there is I still have great friends that I met there and who I keep in touch with. Through that, I’ve realized that the best of friends, are always there for you, no matter the distance.
Fast forward to now. The present. This is where goodbye gets really hard. I think these last two years of college at West Texas A&M has brought me to my closest friends. The friends who have seen me laugh, cry, get mad, throw things, they’ve seen my brilliance, my defeat and through it, they have still been by my side. I was supposed to graduate this year in May 2012 but due to some knee surgeries and changing my major, I decided another year at WT was in the books for me. Hey , I’m not arguing, just taking my college victory lap. Though staying another year meant more knowledge, soccer and fun for me, I’ve realized my friends don’t stay with me.
Today, I said goodbye to probably the best friend I’ve made here at WT. I think we all know who it is. He’s been there from the beginning of my WT experience. Pushing me past two knee surgeries, pushing me through my switch to advertising. Winking at me during presentations to make my nervousness go away and never once doubting my ability to succeed whether it was in soccer, school or in work.
This goodbye and the ones I’ve said in the last month have been the hardest. This goodbye hit me, before it even came. This goodbye might take a while to sink it, to realize that he’s in Cali and I’m still at school. I’ve never been much of an emotional person and if you ask any of my friends, I’ve just been a mess. I know that this is part of growing up, the hard part, the goodbyes. For me though, it’s a see you later. The true friends who I’ve managed to stay close with, I know I will see again. These people hold a special place in my heart.
I know that this goodbye was the hardest yet but it sure isn’t the last goodbye I’ll face or that any of us will. In the next year, I hope to be doing the same thing, packing up my life in college and moving to pursue my dreams. I couldn’t be happier for my friends who have made their dreams come true and I know that I will be seeing them again. It's hard to say goodbye to the places and people you hold near to your heart. No one every said it would be easy but they did say everything was worth it. For now, to all of my friends, It’s a see you later, not a goodbye.
