Moments

       Moments. Our lives are constantly defined by moments. The moment we are born, the moment we walk, the moment we talk all the way until the moments we create. There are moments you will want to remember for a lifetime and then there are those that impact you so greatly that you will want to share.
       One of those moments happened to my team this past weekend. Previously being ranked 6th by those in the conference, we knew we were in a good position in first place. We had joked about being in the top seed in our conference and how we had come so far from previous years. Nothing actually compared to the moment though, when number one became such a reality.
       We came out and beat Eastern New Mexico University in our last regular season game. We knew that if we won we would have a chance at a co-championship because of the way the standings were. On our ride home, we were constantly checking the score of the other game hoping that one school beat the other we were competing with. 20 minutes left, 10 minutes, overtime. It was as if time stood still. “Oh my gosh,” was all most of us needed to hear to know that the team we needed to lose had lost for us to become LSC regular season champions.
        This was the moment that I will remember as will most of my team. Pulling over in the gas station in Clovis, New Mexico were 22 girls jumping up and down celebrating a victory we had only talked about all season. The smiles that were on our faces can’t be forgotten.
        Not a lot of people realize what goes into sports. The time put into making yourself better from someone who has never stepped on the field to someone who plays 90 minutes of every game. The hard work, the effort, the late nights, two-a-day practices and many moments that make each season worth it. This year we knew what we needed was complete confidence in every team member and our abilities.
       We have yelled at each other, cried, laughed, joked and played with heart, strength and desire to lead up to the moment that we can say we did what no one really thought we could do. For most of the seniors, we’ve had multiple surgeries and have put every ounce of what we have into this sport. This moment made all of that pain worth it.
       This next week decides our real fate. Each of the seniors could be walking away from any given game, with that being our last. The reality of that is shockingly urgent. The moments leading up to the conference tournament and the moments during are something I know we can never have back. God has put each one of these players, coaches, trainers and teammates in my life to define these moments that make such great memories. These next moments are going to be moments that will be hard fought.  As to what will be our next moment? I’m not sure. But I know with a little heart, strength, desire and the Glory of God we can help shape our own moments in soccer and in life.

My Life as a College Cheerleader

        Okay, I'm sure most of you and read this title and laughed. I am not , nor will ever be a college cheerleader. I just can't do all those flips and be that peppy all the time. I do, however, speak for the injured athletes out there who feel as though, they spend their seasons cheering their team on. This is a very familiar feeling for me.
        If you're an athlete, or ever have been an athlete, you know that the time you spend on the field is where the magic happens. The great plays are made, the tackles are made, the goals are scored. It's rare that people who are on the bench or out for injury are recognized.
      When I got to college, my mindset was the same as it was during high school, I wanted to play as much as possible. I wanted to make a difference and leave college knowing that I had done something with my athletic career. The more I got into playing college soccer and the more injuries I got, I realized my role was a lot different.
       I've gone through all the emotions of an injured athlete: bitter, sad, angry, grateful, bored and even the feeling of happy when you know your time to play is close. This season, my last ( or so I thought), I was excited to come back from two knee surgeries and finally have a full year on the field. God's plans were different. Four weeks into this season ( pre season included), I found out I had a stress fracture in my femur. I mean really, who does that? Apparently, me.
      After both my surgeries, I knew I had a new appreciation for small things like walking or biking. I also had a new appretiation for the game. This year I told myself I wasn't going to take anything for granted. I battled with playing time in the beginning and was becoming frustrated. I had a bit of a mind-set change when I realized that maybe being an all-star wasn't my role. I had a bit of a realization that it's really not about my plan at all but what God has in store for me. I may want the glory, but I need to give it to Him and realize that I don't need to be on the field to be a leader.
     I've definitely been through some of those stages this injury. I'm only out for a month this time, if my injury heals properly. A month though, to an athlete, can feel like a year. I am blessed enough to still travel with my team and be able to cheer them on during the games. I have realized that my journey as an athlete has not been about how many plays I can make but about perseverance and not giving up my dream.
      I now have about 2 months left of this season and I'm trying my hardest to be fully positive about the situation I've been put it.  I know that His plans are so much bigger than mine will ever be and  I'm  excited to be able to help my team in any way I can. After all, once my sports career is over, there is so much more life to live for. I do know this:  When I can play again, I will make the most of stepping on the field any time I can. After all, soccer is about 90% of who I am. I live for the days of playing and the teammates I won't forget. If anything, I hope to make a difference in one of my younger teammates life. I want to show people that it's not all about the glory on the field but about His glory and how you can make a difference off the field. Until then, I'll be the worlds best cheerleader. Hip Hip Horay!

Transitions

         About four weeks into the semester and I can't help but think about the changes. It seems like as the days pass nothing really changes but looking back to a year ago, or even four years ago when  I started college, everything changes. Whether it's a good change or a bad change or something you wish you could take back, it's all part of growing up.
         I was reading an article yesterday tailored to my generation : the 20 somethings. One of the comments made me laugh but at the same time made my mind start churning. When we start thinking what our parents said is right, we've started to grow up and mature ( or go crazy for that matter). It's true though, I can look back at my college freshmen self and realize how dumb or silly the things I did were. I realize not only how much I've grown as a person but how much my faith , my strength and my love of things has grown. I think we all can relate. Things just get different when you grow up.
        It was so weird to me to see parents waving their kids off on the day before class started. I think of this place as my home and these students are just starting that adventure. When I look around the department, more than half of these students are new ( which is absolutely terrifying). The good part about that is, I am able to help the younger students and mentor them from where I was when I transferred to WT a little over two years ago. The scary part is how many people just pass on through without realizing a lot of these.
        Looking at some of my friends who have moved away into the "real world" is also one of those scary parts of growing up. I've become so accustomed to the college life and in less than a year, I will be applying for jobs and making some big decisions regarding my life and the dreams I have set out for myself.
       So when did growing up become so serious? It used to be that being able to tie my shoe was a huge accomplishment. Or riding a bike, or going to that first dance, or that first football game, or the first time you actually get in trouble for something, the first good grade you make, the first school play or the first college acceptance letter. I guess it kind of just comes with time. Nothing monumental happens but something in your mind clicks when you realize it can't just be all fun and games without some hard work and a passion for what you do in life.
      The transition from one year to the next is normally something you don't even realize, until you realize it's a new school year. This is when growing up isn't your height anymore but actual self growing. I think there is a plan set out for us, something bigger than we can imagine and God is waiting on putting the perfect time for everything. So yes, the 20 somethings are for uncertainty and I'm surely uncertain on a lot of things, but my faith is stronger than my doubt. And for the record, my parents aren't ALWAYS right ( just kidding mom, I know you're reading this.)

For the Love of the Game

        I never thought I’d be writing about this day. Or the day that I’m dreading that is going to happen in about 3 months. Soccer, to me, is easily the most beautiful game in the world. It draws thousands and brings people together for one common cause of winning a game. The players are tough, the plays are beautiful and when the game is played right, it is astounding.
        Growing up, I was around soccer all the time. Both of my older brothers played and my dad was the coach. I used to play with the boys teams all the time because I always wanted to be like my older brothers.  I can remember being in the backyard having my brother pushing me away and telling me to push him back so I can get the ball. It wasn’t until I got older, that I could actually knock him over.
         Playing when I was little was always fun. I played soccer with some of my best friends and I began to love it then. These were the days of orange slices at half time and the tunnel at the end of the game when you won from the parents. Sometimes, I wish we still had tunnels.
         In the beginning of high school, I made my parents buy me a soccer net. One of those really cool nets that bounced the ball back at you every time you shot it. From then on out, I had a routine that I would practice to make myself better. I would run everyday and then go out in the back yard and practice for hours. I simply just loved the game.
        During this time, the first women’s national team with Mia Hamm had kept me inspired to play soccer. These were the girls that I wanted to be. I used to have North Carolina signs all over my room because that was my dream. I also wanted to be a professional soccer player. I used to have school papers that had “Dream Job” written on it and on that line would be “Pro soccer player.” Like any other girl that age, I was a big dreamer. I still am but with a little more sense in me.
       People who knew me during high school know I gave anything for the game. My senior year when we lost in the State Semi-final game, I sat on the field for about an hour after, not wanting to leave. I stayed in my uniform that whole day. That’s how much pride I had for my team and for the game.
       When the time came to decide if I wanted to play college soccer, there was never a doubt in my mind. I wanted to follow my dream. I knew that playing at North Carolina would probably never happen but I knew I could play division one. And I did for two years until I found myself transferring to WT.
      This is when the whole game changed for me. I transferred because I loved the game so much that I wanted to play at a school that was a better fit for me. Never would I have imagine that I would be in the position I am today, having to fight for this last season.
       First day of preseason my first year at WT I tore my left ACL. Life was over as I knew it. I had to realize that this really does happen to people and that no matter how invincible I thought I was, I wasn’t going to be playing that season. For six months, I worked as hard as I could. In the training room day in and day out until I was able to step on that field again. Being able to play again gave me a new appreciation for the game.
       So I started my second year at WT. This year was a struggle because I knew I had a lot more to work for coming back from injury. About 10 games into this season, I tore my right ACL along with a lot of other things. Now my life was sure over as I knew it. This recovery has been the longest and the hardest. There hasn’t been a day that is completely pain free but when you’re a college athlete, I don’t think there really is. I played around with the idea of quitting. I think for a while I wanted to quit. In my mind though, I knew that I was stubborn enough to try and play one more season.
     There was one instance exactly that helped my decision. It was during the spring and I was barely able to run. Outside on the track, I was watching my team practice and we were helping out with a camp for little girls. I looked at these girls and realized they were me, years ago. They loved the game for the simplicity of just playing it and having fun with their friends. As a college athlete, it’s our mentality to treat our sport like a job, forgetting the fun and why we really loved the sport. As I stepped on the field that day with those girls, I knew I wasn’t quitting nor was I giving up in the fight to play.
       10 months later, I am one day from starting my last preseason not only as a college athlete, but as a soccer player. 18 years ago, I decided to play this beautiful game. So in 24 hours, full of a little doubt, a lot of nervousness and excitement , my last preseason starts. I don’t think it will be easy. Training twice a day for two weeks while fighting for a spot isn’t exactly a walk in the park but I know I have a goal in mind. I know God has given me the ability to come back and play and will place me in the right mindset. Playing for Him will be one of my greatest glories this season. Two years ago when I came to WT, I wanted to make an impression by playing. I wanted to finish out my college career not only ready for a real world and a job but also knowing that I didn’t give up my fight that 10 year old Julia would have wanted. I’m ready to push through the pain and to not give up this season. Three months from now, I will be a retired athlete and I want to look back and know that I didn’t give up. Fall seven times, stand up eight. This has been one heck of a journey as an athlete, and I’m ready to finish it the way I started, loving every second of this game and enjoying the time I have playing it.

Time Passes, Nothing Changes

            It's crazy to me that so much time can pass and so many things around us change, but at the same time, everything stays the same. You know those people who you could not see or talk to for months but then catch up like you saw each other five minutes ago? Well, I have been blessed with these kind of people in my life.
           I'm two days back from my trip to the northeast and I've fallen back into my routine of working and working out and getting ready for the semester ahead. In the last week I have traveled to New York City, Brooklyn, Long Island, Philadelphia and different parts of New Jersey.
          Two years ago, I lived in New Jersey and went to school at Rider University. When I left, I was worried and sad that I was leaving my friends behind me and a life that I loved there. Fast forward two years and it was surreal getting on the plane. Pulling into Newark airport, I was like a little kid in a candy store as a viewed NYC out of my window.

          In the last week I have seen friends who I haven't seen in years. Some have managed to make their way to Texas and others I have seen when I visit family in New Jersey but this trip was different. When you only talk to someone on the phone for such a long period of time, you forget what a special bond you had and still have. It amazes me that with each person I saw, it was like nothing had changed between us.



         The girl I've known since kindergarten and I were able to visit a new place together and make new inside jokes. My old college roommate and I still gave each other a hard time and told old stories, a few friends talked about our old coach and living on campus and one friend and I were still acting silly and playing pranks just like we used to. I am so thankful for all of these friendships everyday.
          I not only got to see people I haven't seen in years but places as well. I know that everybody has at least one place in their life that bring back those nostalgic moments. Those moments that you can almost live in when you go back. It's like hearing a song and being right back in that memory where you first heard that song. This was quite possibly my favorite part of the trip. These places hadn't changed either. I was still riding the same train I rode two years ago to visit my cousin and best friend at their school. Riding the same train into New York City just to walk around times square for a day.

       There was, however, the harsh reality of also trying to find my way around new things, like the subway. Let me tell you that I cannot tell you the different between the A, B, C,D , E ,F or G line on the subway, if those even exist. I also had to take a bus to Philadelphia where our first stop was the Liberty Bell concourse area and I thought I saw the Liberty Bell when in reality it was a church bell ( can you say blonde?) All of these new experiences made for new memories though.

       Although so much is different with our friends and places were live, nothing really changes when someone means so much. When you finally do reach your new destination, it's all about the new memories and the new people that you meet. I can say that with a year left until I venture into my  unknown future of the adult world, I am both excited and scared. I'm ready to make new memories but I love the ones I've already made.

Another Year Down

       I can’t believe that I just turned 22. I literally felt like it was two weeks ago that I turned 21. It’s so crazy how a year can change things. I’ve definitely felt very blessed in this last year. And, just like any other year it was filled with ups and downs.
    As this summer is coming to a close, I really can think of how this summer and the jobs I’ve recently gotten into are setting me up for a future that I can’t wait for. Working at the High Plains Food Bank has been so rewarding. I’ve gotten to see how the work I do can help change lives and help feed people. It’s great to hear the stories of people and all the different struggles they go through. Makes me so grateful for my life and the position I’ve been put in.
    About halfway through the summer I was hired as Marketing Director for Jump-N-Jive. It’s an inflatable playground here in Amarillo. Now before you laugh, it’s actually a lot of fun. I have definitely gotten my fair share of work. I did not realize how much work is put into having your own budget, making and following up on phone calls and corporate meetings. I can definitely say I understand why people in this industry are the way that they are after having this real-world experience.
    At 22, I couldn’t imagine being in a better position. I’m closing in on my final year in college and my final soccer season. 10 months ago, I was taken out of the game again, for the second time and it’s crazy to think that I get to step back on the field again after surgery. When I thought about quitting, I would step on the field and remember why I played: because I loved it. That’s something I’m realizing while watching the Olympics, how much passion I have for my sport and for being competitive. 2 weeks until my last pre season as a college athlete after playing the game for 18 years. That’s insane.
    I have been so blessed not only this summer but with this life Christ has lined up for me. I have realized that when I drop my own plan to follow His, it works out a lot better. I’ve been super involved in FCA ( fellowship of christian athletes) and I love it. It has definitely shown me that everyone has their own struggles and it’s how we deal with them, that make us different.
    I’m fortunate enough to be able to visit New Jersey/New York this next week and I am so excited. It doesn’t seem like it was two short years ago that I had left Rider for West Texas. I cannot wait to visit my friends who I’ve been able to keep in touch with. Those are the friendships that I know are truly special and I’m ready to see my future home (NYC baby!) I cannot wait to see what’s in store for this next year, but I’m ready. Here’s to another year of life!

The Kids Table

        I’m sitting here about 10,000 ft in the air, probably more, but I’m terrible at math. I’m reflecting back on my vacation, that now, seems like it went by in the blink of an eye. Growing up is something we always get talked to about, and the experience of growing up happens over a certain amount of time. I’ve experienced growing up in the last year with my friends, with my job, with school and recently learned how it affects family.
        Rewind seven days ago and I’m on the flight to North Carolina with my sister, mom, dad and myself. Usually, on family vacations, my brother would be with us but he recently moved to NYC so he’s meeting us there. This was the first evident change, of many , that I realized have spawned the growing up period of my life.
        Our Gambuti (my step-dads side) family weddings have always been a large affair. Having 4 uncles (including my dad) and 3 aunts, the family tree gets spread out into a large amount of people. Not that we ever minded, the more , the merrier. After the wedding, the reception seating was upon us. My brother , sister and I were placed at what we dubbed “the kids table.” Making a joke about this , we walked over to my parents table where they were with my grandparents and a few aunts and uncles. My dad said  something that I didn’t really think about until now. He said “Ya know, the kids table is really the cousins table and let me tell you, I’m happy I can still sit at a table with my parents as their kid.” Wow. It kind of hit me.  I’m too busy making a joke about my kids table and never really even thought to think that my grandparents are indeed, getting up there.
        As the night goes on, I think about the differences in 10 years ago , to today. My grandpa can’t walk as well as he used to, the dancing with them is to a minimum, even at the beach, my grandpa couldn’t get in the water from being unstable on his feet. That’s not to say, they both don’t have the mind of a 20 year old, because they do. They nag each other like they are newlyweds but then again, they know each other so well which comes with age.
       Growing up, our family used to take one big vacation to seaside heights (the once known family vacation spot now know as the spawn of the Jersey Shore party scene.) On these vacations we’d all be in the ocean, walk the boardwalk and drive up together. Now that we’ve all “grown up” in a sense, families separate out on their own vacations. Cousins (just a few years older than me) have created their own families. I never took the time to realize these differences until they were apparent in my face.
       Even the usual family beach vacation was different for us. Normally, we would have all of the siblings and my parents. My brother was missing because he returned to NYC after the wedding and I almost couldn’t come because now I have my own job(s) to tend to. Thing are different now and we are growing up. My sister and I were able to spend some quality time time together the three days we were at the beach, but even then, I realized how much she is growing up when she exclaimed “I get my drivers permit in six months.” Really? She’s only 4. Nope, she’s surely 14 going on 15.
        In the past few months, I’ve had to say goodbye to some friends who moved, change jobs and realize that going home only comes two times a year now. All of these are tell-tale signs of my growing up but also the people around me. I often am so wrapped up in my fast-paced life that I don’t take the time to realize that the important people in my life such as my grandparents, parents , siblings, aunts and uncles and cousin are all growing older to. Seeing them once a year is not something I wish I could extend for weeks. Growing up not only means a change in myself but also the others around me. I don’t think we realize that as we get older, so do the people around us.
         This vacation was not just relaxing but a reminder to myself to cherish the loved ones around me because their time is limited. All of our time is limited. I am proud to say I’m a proud member of the  kids table if it means I’m still around my cousins and my parents are still with their parents.

                                              *I told them to smile, this is what I get